Scrupulosity - from the Diary of St. Faustina

The second year of the novitiate was approaching. Whenever I recalled that I was to make my vows, my soul shuddered. I did not understand what I was reading; I could not meditate; it seemed to me that my prayer was displeasing to God. It seemed to me that by approaching the Holy Sacraments I was offending God even more. But despite this, my confessor did not let me omit one single Holy Communion. God was working very strangely in my soul. I did not understand anything at all of what my confessor was telling me. The simple truths of the faith became incomprehensible to me. My soul was anguish, unable to find comfort anywhere. (23)


However, in all these sufferings and struggles, [Saint Faustina was undergoing intense spiritual trials] I was not omitting Holy Communion. When it seemed to me that I should not communicate, I went, before Holy Communion, to the Directress and told her that I could not approach the Sacrament, because it seemed to me that I should not do so. But she would not permit me to omit Holy Communion, so I went, and I understand now, that it was only obedience that saved me. The Directress told me later that my trials had passed quickly, "and this solely because you were obedient, Sister: and it was through the power of obedience that you struggled through this so bravely." It is true that it was the Lord himself who brought me out of this torment, but my fidelity to obedience did please him. (105)

Once I desired very much to receive Holy Communion, but I had a certain doubt, and I did not go. I suffered greatly because of this. It seemed to me that my heart would burst from the pain. When I set about my work, my heart full of bitterness, Jesus suddenly stood by me and said, My daughter, do not omit Holy Communion unless you know well that your fall was serious; apart from this, no doubt must stop you from uniting yourself with Me in the mystery of My love. Your minor faults will disappear in My love like a piece of straw thrown into a great furnace. Know that you grieve Me much when you fail to receive Me in Holy Communion.(156)
On the following day, I had a clear awareness of the following words: "You see, God is so holy, and you are sinful. Do not approach Him and go to confession everyday." And indeed whatever I thought of seemed to me to be a sin. ...when the day for confession came, I prepared a whole mass of those sins of which I was to accuse myself. However, in the confessional God allowed me to accuse myself of only two imperfections, despite my efforts to make a confession according to what I had prepared . When I left the confessional, the Lord said to me, My daughter, all those sins you intended to confess are not sins in My eyes; and that is why I took away your ability to tell them. I understood that Satan, wanting to disturb my peace, has been giving me exaggerated thoughts. (1802)

~ The Diary of Saint Faustina